Birthday wrap up

Well, my friends, here I am a year older. The birthday party went well, and I want to give a shout out to all my friends who came out to see me and celebrate with me. It was a good evening!

Two of my favorite humans, W & J, gave me this really cool shirt. It reminds me of a Roy Lichtenstein piece of art - you know pointillism meets pop art. It says "Woof" on the back, which saves me having to say it myself, people can just read my shirt. They also gave me a necktie. I know some of you think of neckties as an instrument of torture and a means of "the man" controlling you. But I don't agree. I think its lends an air of sophistication to me, and really is exactly what I have been looking for.

So, with the gifts, the ladies serenading me and some new friend/maestro tickling the ivories, it was a good night indeed.

Sunday, although it is the real day that marks the start of my new life here, was quiet, almost uneventful. Unless you count the 93 minute international phone call I made. Well, it wasn't intentional for a start. Someone left me alone for a long time, and that same someone left the phone on the love seat right near the pillow I like to sleep on. Its not my fault that I belly dialed some foreign country and let them listen my abdominal noises for 93 minutes. So, you can imagine someone was not happy with me.

I am including a photo of myself in my new shirt and tie. The quality is not very good, but you will get the idea.

Until next time, always remember to give a little love, or is it, get a little love?
Clifford George

Tuesday - okay, I don't have a catchy title for today's post

Hello to all of you from a grey and gloomy Columbus. Where did the lovely spring weather go?

Another week is underway. But this is not just any week, this the last week of my ninieth year! Sunday, I celebrate my 91st birthday! I am determined to spend my last few days at this age doing some exciting things. And I have already gotten off to a good start.

Yesterday morning, on my morning walk, I managed to give the human the slip. It had been raining and I noticed a large muddy puddle up ahead, so I made sure I went to the opposite side of the puddle from her. I knew she would not want to step into the mud AND I knew she wouldn't yank my leash. So, after stretching as far as she possibly could, she had to let go of the leash - and I was off - running like a wild dog with her in hot pursuit! It was all rather amusing. There she was running after me, yelling - and you all know she can't really yell, and me running with the soundtrack of "Born Free" playing in my ears! Wish you could have been there!

She did finally catch up with me, or if truth be told, I slowed down so that she could catch up with me. By this stage the leash was wet and muddy. I got the lecture, of course... "you are just lucky we live in a quiet neighborhood! What if there had been a car coming..." Oh! Please, give me a break!

The excitement just carried on yesterday. Upon returning from our evening walk, my nemesis, Henry, the so-called dog who lives next door, managed to slip away as his human was trying to hook him up to his leash and he came running over. He is a young buck and he and I have been battling since I first moved in here. He will insist on challenging me! He just never learns that I am in charge. I had to once again show him a thing or two and his human got him suitably restrained. Someone ought to tell him that the new haircut does not help his image!

And that leads me to my haircut. I am scheduled for some Clifford pampering time tomorrow. I have to look my best for the big birthday party on Saturday. I, of course, will get a real Schnauzer cut and not some "cute puppy" style.

I hear that some one new is coming to the party, and he plays the piano! Hey, I hope he knows "Happy Birthday!" I can't wait to have my favorite ladies serenading me on my birthday!

Catch you soon
Clifford George

Pre-birthday ponderings

Well, the haircut went well, and I am, as my human likes to describe me, "devastatingly handsome." I am more than ready for my birthday on Sunday when I will celebrate my 91st birthday. Actually, like most dogs, I don't know when my real birthday is, but March 28 is the day we celebrate. Now some of you who know my human, may also know that March 28 is her birthday, and so, you may conclude that she just decided to keep things simple and make me share her birthday. But, there is nothing simple about my human and there is another reason that March 28 is the day chosen as my birthday.

March 28, 2008 is the day I came to live here. In fact all of us animals who live in this home celebrate our birthdays on the day we came to live here. Olive's day is March 14, and our dear brother, Mikey, was December 23 - a true Christmas gift!

Olive has been here the longest - even though she is the youngest! She has been here for three years, Mikey would have been here for 3 years this past Christmas, and I have been here for two years this Sunday. You see, we are all adopted, all rescues! So, in her complex way, the human has hit on something good. We may celebrate our birthdays on a day that really isn't our birthday, but we celebrate the start of our new lives, in fact, we celebrate life itself!

So, Sunday is indeed cause for celebration. I will be celebrating my new life and honoring all those who helped to get me here. Its been an interesting journey, and at times very painful and unpleasant, but the journey has led me to where I am today and to all of you. So, thank you! May your journey take you to wonderful places and to wonderful people. And lets always celebrate life.

Ciao!
Clifford George Jackson

If you would like to honor some of the people who helped rescue me (and Mikey and many others), you can make a donation to Schnauzer Rescue Cincinnati www.schnauzerrescuecincinnati.org. Just be sure to tell them that Clifford sent you!

Just another Monday

Hello to all of you,

Yesterday was a routine kind of day - catching up after the weekend. It rained yesterday so now the snow is melting quickly.

As I am sure you know, Schnauzers are not fans of rain. First of all, it can wreak havoc on our coats. Second, invariably your feet get muddy and you have to endure either the complaints about muddy paw prints in the house or the indignity of having your paws washed. Yikes! But I have masterminded a way to deal with this.

First, refuse to go outside on your own. I find that if you add a look of fear to the refusal, you are much more successful. This is especially effective first thing in the morning when they know you must need to relieve yourself. Now sometimes they will be quite determined, this is where you must be more determined. A little whining and shivering helps here and don't give up! If you are smart about this, you will succeed and they will have to accompany you outside. And somehow seeing them enduring bad weather makes it all worthwhile. They will also have muddy paws and so there will be fewer complaints. Also, remember to take your time. If you have to get wet, you might as well make the most of it. Find that perfect spot and enjoy watching them huddled under the umbrella! An added bonus is that wonderful wet dog smell that we love and they hate!

Now if you are not immediately successful with this technique don't be disheartened. It takes practice, and concentration and lets be honest, that's not easy on a full bladder! I perfected this technique rather quickly, but I have some things working for me - I am an accomplished actor who long ago mastered the "sad dog face" and I have a human (let me put this politely) who is a push over when it comes to animals and children. You might not be this fortunate, but don't despair, with hard work you will get there.

So, in the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never give up!"

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a cigar to smoke!

Clifford George Jackson

Deer hunting and other activities

Well, its Monday again. It was a good weekend, as are most weekends. As promised I did have some time with at least one lady!



J came by to visit me. I didn't realize that she had even arrived at first - I think she snuck in to surprise me, but of course all the humans insist that I didn't hear her - stuff and nonsense. I didn't want to seem too needy. Anyway, I got a great back rub from her. Practicing the "sad face" pays off every time.



I also had my human to myself most of the weekend. So, now there is plenty of food in the freezer for moi and I got lots of attention and lots of back rubs, and lots of walks. Quite the life I lead. The weather was warmer too, so some of the snow and ice have started melting.



The highlight of the weekend was Sunday afternoon. I went outside to stretch my legs and do you-know-what. I was standing on the top of the steps of the deck looking out at my woods and saw four deer feeding off the low branches. I stood perfectly still, locked them in my sights and waited, like the hunter I am. They were completely unaware of the imminent danger they were in - poor Bambi's - like the proverbial lambs to the slaughter - deer in the headlights.



I signalled to the human to document this on film (well, really on a chip - in case Hilton is reading this) so that you could all share in this. She managed to get several photos of them and then I decided to make my move. I leaped from the deck at full speed and charged! They took off, out of the ravine, through the creek bed and over to the other side. Once they were clearly out of danger they stopped and looked around. They bowed their heads to the great hunter and protector - Clifford George Jackson.



Oh! You thought I was going to take them down? No, no, that is not my style. I can live along side them and other creatures. As long as they show respect to me, I am okay with that. Live and let live - that's my motto, or at least one of them.



For the skeptics among you, the human will be posting the photos of the deer, just as soon as she can figure out how to do that. So, you will soon have the evidence!



So, after an exciting weekend, it is back to work. I have to catch up on my sleep and the human has a busy week. I heard some rumor that she is traveling at the end of the week, so I guess I will be shipped off to the vet - AGAIN! I will let you know more about that.



Happy Hunting to all

Clifford George Jackson

Friday

I am happy to report that I had my morning walk today! As I told you yesterday, I missed my walk in the morning because of ice. But then I got sidelined for my evening walk because the human had a conference call and didn't get out of her office until about 7pm. So, not only did I not get my evening walk, I also got my dinner late!



I was not happy, and sulked all evening. But today looks like it will be a better day - or at least for me especially if the human can tear herself away from work long enough to get to Costco to buy my food.



Ahhh! Food! Glorious Food! No Kibbles 'n Bits for me! Like many Schnauzers, I have developed pancreatitis. This is a painful disease that makes it difficult for me to have any fat in my diet. If you want more information about this, visit my human's website - she runs an organization that deals to all diseases of the pancreas. (For humans, but most of the basic information applies to us canines too). Anyway, enough of the scientific mumbo jumbo, what this means to me is that the human cooks organic chicken breasts, organic jasmine rice and organic green beans. Then she carefully measures this mixture into portions, and freezes individual portions for me. Apart from tasting really, really good, this diet keeps the pancreatitis at bay - at least most of the time. I have trained her well. Some say I am a lucky guy. I say I am a smart dude who has trained my human to obey my every command.



There's another added bonus to this eating plan - the cat doesn't get any! She eats some dry cat food that is apparently well balanced - Ha! Ha!



Well, I might not post anything again until Monday. I might have a busy weekend - you know, with the ladies... I will give the scoop on Monday.



Til later

Clifford George Jackson