On my way to the vet!

Well, hello again,

I thought I would try and sneak in another post before the human takes me to the vet for a 6 day stay. She is heading off to New Orleans for some big conference - all work and no play makes her pretty dull!

While I am at the vet, I am having my teeth cleaned. When I was last there they tried to clean my teeth, but I was not having any of it. When I first moved here I had to have 20 teeth extracted, which is no joke. And which was also not my fault. Its not like I had a toothbrush and some floss. My life before this was not exactly pleasant and I did not get the kind of care and attention I get now. So, after enduring that last lot of dental surgery, there was no chance I was letting them anywhere near my few remaining teeth. So, my human has arranged for me to be sedated while they clean my teeth. She had convince me that this was a) going to be painless for me and b) that it was critically important. She did a good job of convincing me, and now I realize that this minor inconvenience for me is important - I really can't afford to lose anymore teeth!

J and W have promised to come and visit me while I am staying at the vet. It pretty cool for me, because I am the only dog boarding who gets visitors. It does a lot to boost my reputation! Plus they always bring treats!

Well, hopefully when I write again I will have some pearly white teeth to show you. In the meantime remember to floss!
Talk to you soon
Clifford George Jackson

Rainy Monday

After some spectacular spring weather, we have had some rain on and off since Saturday. Now I know rain is important for several reasons, but as you know I am not a big fan of rainy days. It has severely curtailed my outdoor time, so I might have become a tad cranky over the past few days.

What is more interesting is that the human appears to have some sort of spring fever and is going out more. This is really strange, but not necessarily a bad thing. She went to dinner with friends on Saturday evening and then went out for lunch on Sunday! Usually the only thing that gets her out of the house is when she has to travel for work, or when she has to shop for my food. So, I wonder what is going on? I am not complaining, sometimes I like having the place to myself as it gives me time to lie on every piece of furniture in the house.

This morning the human took me for a walk - in the rain! And would you believe it, the cat, Olive, joined us for our walk. She often joins us for our walks, even when there has been snow on the ground. It really makes people stop in their tracks to see a cat out walking with a human and a dog. Have you ever heard of a cat going for a walk, let alone a walk in the rain? She finally ran off when a school bus came driving by and spooked her. We haven't seen her since. She has probably found some new and exciting place to explore. But in the rain? She is, to put in mildly, an interesting cat.

Well, I need to try and find a cozy spot and catch up on my sleep.
Stay warm and dry 'til next time
Clifford G. J.

Did you think I had forgotten you?

Hello to all of you!

I know its been a while since I last wrote to you. I wish I could say that I have been busy, but that would be a stretch of the imagination. Once again you can blame the human, she has been busy and that means I have to lie around and wait.

I hope you all had a good Easter. I did, and I got some Charlie Bear treats in my Easter Basket. I overheard the human telling someone that she was going to cut egg shapes out of bread and give them to me as my Easter treat. Well, at least she was trying to be creative! For those of you who are puzzled by this, I usually get bread as my treat. This pancreatitis severely restricts what I can eat, so no ordinary dog biscuits for me. I stick to wholewheat bread and Charlie Bears, both of which are low in fat, which is what my pancreas can't handle. Hardly a tough life! Besides the Clifford likes to watch his boyish physique, so only the best for me!

The human and I kicked back on Sunday night and watched some movies and then watched a few episodes of the Dog Whisperer. That Cesar Milan, he is quite something, isn't he? He really thinks he has us dogs all figured out. He thinks because we respond to some command we have changed our behavior and you humans are now in control. Hasn't he read my earlier blog posts about acting? And as for that notion of the human being the pack leader, well, really, is he kidding? Does he, and don't all of you humans, realize what is going on? We can respond to your commands, do those little tricks you find so amusing, stay off the furniture,...but do you really think we care? We know what's going on, and we know which side our bread is buttered. So, next time your dog does something cute in return for a treat, just stop and think about what might be going on in our old brain box. I guess its no different than you feigning respect/love/admiration/fill in the blank, for your significant other/spouse/boss/fill in the blank, to get what you want from them.

Luckily for me, my human doesn't try to implement any of his techniques with me. As she says, "Cliffy, you are the perfect dog" so why would she want to change anything. Sometimes she shows some real potential.

Well, the human is hitting the road again this weekend, so I am gearing up for a visit to the vet. Its been a while since I visited them, so I hope they have things shipshape and ready for me.

And to those of you who have asked for my opinion of healthcare reform, I will be posting my comments on that soon.

Happy Spring to all of you,
Clifford George Jackson

Birthday wrap up

Well, my friends, here I am a year older. The birthday party went well, and I want to give a shout out to all my friends who came out to see me and celebrate with me. It was a good evening!

Two of my favorite humans, W & J, gave me this really cool shirt. It reminds me of a Roy Lichtenstein piece of art - you know pointillism meets pop art. It says "Woof" on the back, which saves me having to say it myself, people can just read my shirt. They also gave me a necktie. I know some of you think of neckties as an instrument of torture and a means of "the man" controlling you. But I don't agree. I think its lends an air of sophistication to me, and really is exactly what I have been looking for.

So, with the gifts, the ladies serenading me and some new friend/maestro tickling the ivories, it was a good night indeed.

Sunday, although it is the real day that marks the start of my new life here, was quiet, almost uneventful. Unless you count the 93 minute international phone call I made. Well, it wasn't intentional for a start. Someone left me alone for a long time, and that same someone left the phone on the love seat right near the pillow I like to sleep on. Its not my fault that I belly dialed some foreign country and let them listen my abdominal noises for 93 minutes. So, you can imagine someone was not happy with me.

I am including a photo of myself in my new shirt and tie. The quality is not very good, but you will get the idea.

Until next time, always remember to give a little love, or is it, get a little love?
Clifford George

Tuesday - okay, I don't have a catchy title for today's post

Hello to all of you from a grey and gloomy Columbus. Where did the lovely spring weather go?

Another week is underway. But this is not just any week, this the last week of my ninieth year! Sunday, I celebrate my 91st birthday! I am determined to spend my last few days at this age doing some exciting things. And I have already gotten off to a good start.

Yesterday morning, on my morning walk, I managed to give the human the slip. It had been raining and I noticed a large muddy puddle up ahead, so I made sure I went to the opposite side of the puddle from her. I knew she would not want to step into the mud AND I knew she wouldn't yank my leash. So, after stretching as far as she possibly could, she had to let go of the leash - and I was off - running like a wild dog with her in hot pursuit! It was all rather amusing. There she was running after me, yelling - and you all know she can't really yell, and me running with the soundtrack of "Born Free" playing in my ears! Wish you could have been there!

She did finally catch up with me, or if truth be told, I slowed down so that she could catch up with me. By this stage the leash was wet and muddy. I got the lecture, of course... "you are just lucky we live in a quiet neighborhood! What if there had been a car coming..." Oh! Please, give me a break!

The excitement just carried on yesterday. Upon returning from our evening walk, my nemesis, Henry, the so-called dog who lives next door, managed to slip away as his human was trying to hook him up to his leash and he came running over. He is a young buck and he and I have been battling since I first moved in here. He will insist on challenging me! He just never learns that I am in charge. I had to once again show him a thing or two and his human got him suitably restrained. Someone ought to tell him that the new haircut does not help his image!

And that leads me to my haircut. I am scheduled for some Clifford pampering time tomorrow. I have to look my best for the big birthday party on Saturday. I, of course, will get a real Schnauzer cut and not some "cute puppy" style.

I hear that some one new is coming to the party, and he plays the piano! Hey, I hope he knows "Happy Birthday!" I can't wait to have my favorite ladies serenading me on my birthday!

Catch you soon
Clifford George

Pre-birthday ponderings

Well, the haircut went well, and I am, as my human likes to describe me, "devastatingly handsome." I am more than ready for my birthday on Sunday when I will celebrate my 91st birthday. Actually, like most dogs, I don't know when my real birthday is, but March 28 is the day we celebrate. Now some of you who know my human, may also know that March 28 is her birthday, and so, you may conclude that she just decided to keep things simple and make me share her birthday. But, there is nothing simple about my human and there is another reason that March 28 is the day chosen as my birthday.

March 28, 2008 is the day I came to live here. In fact all of us animals who live in this home celebrate our birthdays on the day we came to live here. Olive's day is March 14, and our dear brother, Mikey, was December 23 - a true Christmas gift!

Olive has been here the longest - even though she is the youngest! She has been here for three years, Mikey would have been here for 3 years this past Christmas, and I have been here for two years this Sunday. You see, we are all adopted, all rescues! So, in her complex way, the human has hit on something good. We may celebrate our birthdays on a day that really isn't our birthday, but we celebrate the start of our new lives, in fact, we celebrate life itself!

So, Sunday is indeed cause for celebration. I will be celebrating my new life and honoring all those who helped to get me here. Its been an interesting journey, and at times very painful and unpleasant, but the journey has led me to where I am today and to all of you. So, thank you! May your journey take you to wonderful places and to wonderful people. And lets always celebrate life.

Ciao!
Clifford George Jackson

If you would like to honor some of the people who helped rescue me (and Mikey and many others), you can make a donation to Schnauzer Rescue Cincinnati www.schnauzerrescuecincinnati.org. Just be sure to tell them that Clifford sent you!

Hello everyone,

Once again I have been barred from using the computer - this time you can blame the human's busy job. Now finally, I can sit down and catch up with all of you.

Not a whole lot has been going on in my life - get up in the mornings, have breakfast, read the newspaper, go for a walk... I read that some guy won the Iditarod for the fourth year in a row. I am not sure whether to be impressed or appalled. I guess its an accomplishment and the dude is a throat cancer survivor, but its not like he is pulling the sled himself. Its the dogs that do the work! Its times like this that I am so pleased I am not a husky or malamute or whatever other dogs get into that. I think that guy should come with a warning label to all "mushing" dogs - BEWARE OF LANCE MACKEY!!!!

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. I wish I could tell you that we had some fabulous celebration and drank lots of green beer, but the closest I got to green anything was the green beans in my food! My human really needs to get a life - she is really holding me back.

I have something else I want to get off my chest - I read about Sandra Bullock this morning and how her husband has had an affair. Honestly, I am getting really tired of these kinds of stories. Tiger Woods, John Edwards and now Sandra Bullock's husband! What is it with you humans? Doesn't being faithful mean anything anymore? Maybe you think its strange for a dog to talking about this? But dogs are experts at being faithful. We might not have wives or husbands or partners, but we are inherently faithful to all of you. Even when you don't deserve it! It seems like some of you think its "cool" to betray the ones you love, well, the way I see it, its way more "cool" to be faithful.

When you betray someone you love or claim to love, it is the ultimate act of selfishness and narcissism. And that is not cool! Some people say being faithful is boring, well, then get a hobby, and if its so bad then get out of the relationship, but don't cheat! At least you humans can get out of a bad relationship. As dogs we don't have that option. Even when the relationship is abusive we are mostly trapped, and still we are faithful.

I have known the pain of betrayal - yes, even Mr. Clifford knows this pain. And its taken me a long time to get over that. I had several humans help me get to where I am today. When I first got here, Mikey helped me to realize that I was safe and loved. More than anything Mikey taught me that if I learned to trust, I would open myself to so much happiness. He really showed me that being faithful to the ones you love, makes your life richer.

My human always says that Mikey came into her life to show her what pure joy is, and that I came into her life to show that you can trust again after you've been hurt. And that's why I am sticking around - she still has a lot to learn.

So, be cool
Clifford George Jackson